I decided to have my first guest blog since when my fiance told me this story I just couldn't stop laughing.
The following is a true story written by Jetty Thompson.
YOU’D FORGET YOUR HEAD IF IT WASN’T SCREWED ON (Or maybe your teeth)
Text message sent: 7:14PM to Melanie – I’ll pick you up in 20 minutes!
Thinking behind text message: Just got back from the gym, all I have to do is chug a protein shake, have a quick shower and I’m out the door.
Text message received: 7:46PM from Melanie – What’s taking so long hun??
Well…let me tell you what is taking so long…
I recently started a new workout plan, which involves a different kind of protein than I have used in the past. Unimportant detail you might think, however, this protein is ‘4 scoops per serving.’ Another unimportant detail? Maybe so, if it weren’t for the fact that the cup I have is definitely a 2 scooper.
The logistics of this protein shake are beginning to cause problems. I am in a rush. I eyeball my measly 2 scoop shaker cup and decide that somebody hasn’t given it enough credit, “this is a good cup, why should it be limited by the label of two scooper, I believe in this cup! My cup can handle at LEAST 3 scoops,” I tell myself. I reconsider that brilliant thought as I pour in the third scoop and watch it pile up significantly higher than the edge of my cup.
I make the decision that if I just shove the lid on, the powder will push down into the cup. No mess, no problem.
2 minutes later: I regret that decision as I stand, in my underwear (clothes are now covered in chocolate protein powder) and humbly dust bust my counter, stove, microwave, floor, ceiling….I am broken. But not beaten. I WILL enjoy a nutritious and delicious chocolate shake this fine September evening. I have taken too long cleaning though, because by the time I return to my cup my protein has turned into chocolate cement.
5 minutes later: After pouring what’s left of my shake into a glass, cleaning the shaker cup, pouring shake back in, adding some water and shaking….I drink the chunkiest disgusting shake of all times, purely out of spite, and slam the cup down. A hard fought battle. Chocolate Quickmass Protein – 0 Jetty – 1.
In the elevator, I am happy to be on my way. Fresh non-chocolatey clothes are on and I’m finally headed out to catch some of the Leaf’s game. I’m all smiles and excited to hang out with friends.
I hold the door for a mother and her young son as they come in from the parking garage. The little boy smiles as he runs towards me. I smile back. He stops smiling, puts his head down and walks passed me. Strange. I smile at his mother as I hold the door for her. She gives me a funny look and then laughs out loud in my face. At this moment I remember that I recently had one of my front teeth extracted, and that I now have a retainer type temporary front tooth, and that I am not wearing said tooth, which means that although I am all smiles I am far from all teeth.*
As I run up twelve flights of stairs (I was not about to turn around and share an elevator with the laughing mother and her traumatized young son) I call my beautiful fiancé and explain what is taking so long, using an excuse I didn’t think I would use for at least another 50+ years, “Sorry hun. Would have been there sooner but I forgot my teeth.”
* Image of said toothless grin (I love you hun, you still look cute to me...)
And just for his ego... this is what he really looks like... OW OW!