Our Love Story: Part II

This is part II to our little love story. You can read part I here. 

As I said, we did not go into our grade 12 (senior) year as boyfriend and girlfriend. Shortly before school started he hung out with a different group of friends and realized he still had feelings for a girl he had liked before we got together. Being the good guy he was, he told me this and, well, I didn't know what to do. Even though it wasn't news I wanted to hear, I remember thinking that he was pretty mature for just telling me how he felt instead of pretending, or ending things abruptly or flat out lying.

Part of me wanted to fight for him but I really had no idea what that would look like.

That summer I was working at our church office for a couple weeks as a replacement secretary and I remember sitting in my desk pondering my predicament. I was trying to play out all possible scenarios in my head. Which one would give me the best outcome? Then all of a sudden it occurred to me to pray about it (you know, being at a church and all). I wasn't sure what to expect from a prayer but I just did it and hoped for the best.

I don't remember exactly when the solution became clear to me, but as soon as it was I felt like there was no other option.

I invited Jetty over and essentially told him I wanted him to try things out with the other girl. I wasn't an option of someone to date anymore and I didn't want him to spend time wondering what might have been with her. I think this is what he would have chosen anyway, but I wanted to let him know that I wouldn't be making a big deal about it. I wasn't angry or upset. (ha!)

I don't remember his exact reaction but at the end of that visit I knew I would no longer be hanging out with him like we used to and also, that I would probably have to watch him with someone else when we got back to school.

Going back to school was difficult because I think part of me thought that God would reward my "if you let it go and it comes back..." mentality by bringing him back (right away)-duh! (silly, I know, but I was in high school remember?). The fact that he didn't come back meant he was never mine to begin with...

                   High School Melanie and Jetty...




I spent a lot of those first few months back at school wondering if I did the right thing, missing my friend Jetty, and whining to my best friend about how sad I was he didn't come crawling back. I think all the courage God gave me to "let him go peacefully" disappeared the moment I realized he would actually do it. I was immature and I could only pretend for a brief moment that I could actually do what I knew I should. My original obedience to God's plan was quickly being washed away by my own plans and desires. I couldn't see any bigger picture and I wasn't trusting in Him. Wasn't this guy perfect for me? Why do I have to go through the pain of watching him fall for someone else? This can't be God's plan!

Then, in December, I met someone new. We quickly became boyfriend and girlfriend and he was wonderful and I totally fell in love with him...

Jetty and I stayed friends, but that summer seemed to be the end of our journey together as anything more than that. We were both in relationships and on our way to different places when high school was over.